


Without Him

by MischievousBellerina



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 12:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17704412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MischievousBellerina/pseuds/MischievousBellerina
Summary: Post Infinity War Drabble: A heartbroken Steve wakes up after a nightmare of the reality he experienced when Thanos snapped his fingers and as always, you’re there for him.





	Without Him

“BUCKY!”

The sound of Steve’s heartbroken cry as his eyes shot open and his body shot up to sit up in the bed, startled you awake. You gasped, bolting up next to him, looking at him in concern. Steve was panting hard, clutching his chest as he searched your eyes with his teary ones. You knew he’d dreamt about it again.

Your lover fading into dust before your other lover’s eyes. Steve was traumatized and you didn’t blame him. It happened right in front of him when Thanos had snapped his fingers. Bucky was there one moment, walking toward him, concerned for Steve after he’d gone up against Thanos. Then the next, he was disintegrating. It happened fast Steve had said, like he blinked and he was suddenly gone, a large patch of dust settling into the ground.

_You’d just caught up to them, looking around until your eyes settled on Steve’s wide eyed expression. The look of horror on his face had scared you. Immediately, you asked about Bucky. You should have been relieved not to see his body lying somewhere lifeless, but you remembered a feeling of dread swirling around in your stomach when he didn’t answer you. Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode._

_You ran up to him, demanding to know where he was. His voice broke when he spoke, “Bucky, he….he’s gone.” Again, you demanded to know where he was._

_“WHERE IS HE?!” You screamed at him, “He has to be somewhere!” When he didn’t answer you, you pounded on his chest, a sob escaping your lips. “Steve! Please… Where’s Bucky?” You pleaded, tears streaming down your face._

_Steve looked at you with such sorrow, you knew. Reality hit you as he began to cry, pulling you into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. He had to hold you up as your legs gave out, “No!” You yelled, sobs coming out one after another. You could hardly breathe you were crying so hard._

It had only been a couple of weeks since it had happened, since the two of you had to learn to function without him, and it broke you every time he had a nightmare of it.

You reached out to touch him, your hand sliding across his back gently. Immediately, he turned toward you, reaching out and pulling you to him. You hugged him and he drew in a shaky breath, shifting you so you were sitting across his lap. Steve held you tightly, sobbing into the crook of your neck.

Tears slipped down your cheeks, “I miss him, too, Stevie.” You wrapped your arms around him as he trembled.

“It hurts so damn much.” He said between sobs.

“I know… I know…” You began to cry harder, the ache returning in your chest as you thought about Bucky. About all the times you shared with him, with both of them. The hot, steamy late nights. The soft, loving early mornings. The dates, the kisses, the ‘I love you’s’, everything.

You stroked the back of Steve’s head until he calmed down. When the trembles stopped and his sobs ceased, he pulled back to look at your own tear stained face. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, stroking your hair. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him.”

His apology made your heart clench and you shook your head. “Don’t do that, Steve. It’s not your fault. You fought hard and did the best that you could. We all did.” You replied firmly. He always did this, he always blamed himself for Bucky’s death.

“I’m so scared of losing you, too. I couldn’t bear it if you had also…” His voice broke again and you gripped his shoulders firmly.

“Steve…” You shook him slightly so he would look at you. “Steve, listen to me.” Once you got his attention, you gazed at him intently, “I’m  _fine_. You’re not gonna lose me. I’ll always be beside you.” You mustered up a smile, for him.

“I love you.” He mumbled, taking your face between his hands and stroking his thumbs gently across your cheeks.

“Love you too, Stevie.” A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed back the tears that threatened to return as he leaned forward to kiss you. It was soft, meaningful. Special.

You felt warm and safe in his embrace. After the tragedy, you only found comfort in Steve. Nothing else seemed to bring you any joy, any positive feeling more than he did. He was your anchor, your solace. He kept you grounded and looking forward.

Every moment the two of you shared meant so much more now, you both treated every moment as precious, because neither of you knew when things would change again.

It was hard to deal with, but the two of you had to try and remain strong, remain focused as you worked as a team to find a way to bring Bucky back to you. There had to be a way. And that way was through Thanos, the two of you were sure of it.


End file.
